Breaking the Fixer Habit: Leadership in Transition
Discover what happens when habitual leadership instincts collide with emerging leadership roles. A reflective take on team dynamics, fixer behaviour, and how contracting can create clarity and space during leadership transitions.
When a Project Team Has a New Leader and the Team Are Already Dancing Without You
Two Truths in the Room
This experience opened up two very human, very real sides of the same story.
Most of the articles I write are shaped by the conversations I have with clients; exploring the patterns, challenges, and questions that surface in leadership today. But this one is more personal.
This time, the learning didn’t come through a client session or a team observation. It came straight at me, right between the eyes, in a project meeting, in a moment where I caught myself doing something, which I couldn't stop, even though I could tell it wasn't landing well. It reminded me just how deeply our old habits run, even when we’re well-intentioned, experienced, and aware.
Picture the Scene
There’s a familiar silence. The team looks around, waiting for someone to speak. I feel the itch, that uncomfortable space where uncertainty hangs in the air. I step in, fill the gap, and steer the conversation forward.
It’s instinctive. It’s helpful...
And, I realised, it’s also potentially unhelpful.
Leadership Isn't a Solo Act
We talk often about stepping up into leadership. But sometimes, real leadership is about stepping aside; consciously, generously, and with care.
That’s where I found myself in this moment. And it reminded me that growing others doesn’t just happen through encouragement. It happens through restraint. Through reflection. Through knowing when not to speak.
And for the emerging leader, the courage isn’t just in taking on the responsibility. It’s in holding your ground while others re-learn how to give it to you.
Supporting Without Overshadowing
True support doesn’t always look like contribution. Sometimes it looks like restraint.
New leaders need psychological space, not just airtime.
Especially in peer teams or voluntary contexts, the absence of formal authority can make it harder for new leaders to assert themselves, so old habits take over unless challenged.
When in Doubt, Contract
As coaches, we know the value of contracting; setting expectations, naming what support looks like, and agreeing how we’ll work together.
But when dynamics shift, we rarely re-contract with peers. It can feel awkward or unnecessary, but it’s precisely what prevents missteps and mismatched expectations.
A light-touch contracting conversation can do wonders. It’s not about process or hierarchy, it’s about clarity. What does support look like? Where are the boundaries? What’s your rhythm as a team now, not six months ago.
The Pull of the Fixer Instinct
You’ve been in the mix for a while. You know how the team flows, where the gaps are, when momentum drops. You care deeply, and you’re used to stepping in - especially when things feel uncertain or stuck.
But suddenly, that helpful instinct isn’t landing as you’d hoped. Instead of supporting, you may be crowding. Instead of leading, you might be overshadowing. And you realise: your default isn’t creating space. It’s taking it.
In the absence of clarity or pace, experienced leaders often default to taking the reins.
That ‘rescuer’ move feels generous, keeping things moving, sparing discomfort.
But it can crowd out the very space a new leader needs to find their feet, test their voice, and settle into their role.
When we act on instinct rather than intention, even with the best motives, we risk undermining the very growth we want to support.
True support sometimes means holding back; resisting the urge to step in so that others can step up.
Reflection prompt:
When you sense things slowing down, ask: “Is this a moment to lead, or a moment to listen?”
The Emerging Leader
You’ve taken on a new role, leading a team that already has a history, a tone, and a tempo. You’ve watched the dynamics from the sidelines before, maybe even contributed to them. But stepping in to lead them? That’s different.
You come in with ideas, goodwill, and nerves. You want to honour what’s worked, but you also want to find your own way. And yet... no one seems to be waiting for your lead. They’re already talking, solving, moving. Where is the space for you to lead?
Stepping into an established team can feel like stepping onto a moving train; the rhythm is set, and you’re unsure where to jump in.
Even with the best intentions, your voice may feel out of sync or overshadowed, not by ego, but by habit.
You may second-guess your instincts or feel unsure when others move faster than you can ground yourself.
It’s easy to internalise silence or fast responses as a lack of confidence in your leadership, when often, it’s just the team’s muscle memory playing out.
Without clear signals or space being consciously made, it’s hard to lead with confidence, especially when you’re still finding your own rhythm and authority.
What helps most isn’t more airtime, but psychological safety: knowing you’re meant to be leading, and that others will follow when you do.
The Invisible Patterns of Established Teams
Teams develop a rhythm; who speaks first, who holds the space, who fills the silence.
When someone new steps into leadership, they’re stepping into more than a title, they’re stepping into a live ecosystem.
Even if they've watched the dynamic before (as an observer or participant), stepping in is different from stepping up.
It often leaves people around the individual feeling confused, frustrated and even attacked or second-guessing themselves. All of which leads to being stuck in a cycle of unproductive and unsaid confrontations.
Last Thoughts
When a leadership role shifts, formally or informally, the work isn’t just in the doing. It’s in the not doing. Not assuming. Not reacting. Not filling every space.
Whether you’re the one stepping into a new leadership space, or the one who’s been holding it for a while, there’s a powerful moment of learning available: to pause, reflect, and ask...
What does this moment really need from me, right now?
Reflection prompt:
What do you need from the team to feel you can lead well, and have you named it out loud?
